We have only lived in Montana for about 4.5 years, but reading through this it was pretty sad how much of it was true. So I share it for those of you who live here to chuckle at, and for those of you who don't to roll your eyes at. These are Jeff Foxworthy's Comments on Montana (with my added comments in parentheses).
If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Great Falls , Billings or Bozeman, You might live in Montana. (You can all rest easy that a "vacation" to us isn't shopping in Billings, but rather a weekend camping in Glacier.)
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in Montana. (Ours does not, but the winter does mean that Leif sometimes has to run out to the car once or twice during the work day to run it for a bit so it will work come time to go home.)
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in Montana. (I saw people
ice fishing in the pond in our subdivision last year!)
If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Montana. (This is typically West Yellowstone, MT.)
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too Spendy", You might live in Montana. (Awww, now I have to stop saying that! Leif taught me that phrase...)
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Montana. (So true.)
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Montana. (Especially if they're teenage girls at the local hardware store - they know WAY more than the employees at Home Depot...)
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in Montana.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Montana. (Does anyone remember Leif from the college days?)
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in Montana. (Helloooo, Roundup!)
If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte, You might live in Montana.
If you measure distance in hours, You might live in Montana.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in Montana. (If your family vehicle is a Prius, you're either from Bozeman or Missoula.)
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Montana.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in Montana.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching,
You might live in Montana. (I can't. Leif probably can.)
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Montana. (Or church. That we have seen.)
If you've installed security lights on your ho us e and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Montana.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a High School basketball game, You might live in Montana. (Okay, not HS basketball, but the biggest traffic jam I've ever seen in Bozeman was caused by the Cat-Griz game last weekend.)
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Montana. (Because this is Montana - where the men are men, and so are the women.)
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Montana.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Opening Deer Rifle Season,
You might live in Montana. (Or when there were over 300 kids absent from school - complete with parental permission slips - on a good ski day...)
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Montana. (This is the best! And so true...)
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Montana.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in Montana. (And road construction season and fire season coincide with one another.)
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in Montana.
If you consider Red Lodge exotic, You might live in Montana. (Ha ha! We honeymooned there...)
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in Montana. (I think every major bank in Bozeman follows that description!)
If the sunbelt to you means Miles City, You might live in Montana.
If a brat is something you eat, You might live in Montana. (Ewww. This is true. People here love bratwurst.)
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in Montana. (Ha ha! This happened to Leif not too long ago...!)
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in Montana. (Did I mention that Leif was outside taking pictures tonight in subzero temperatures and didn't even have socks on? He had boots on, but no socks and no gloves.)
If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Montana friends, You Must Live In Montana !